2020: There Can Be No Purpose In This

In trying to figure out this post, my mind kept drifting to the early Neil Gaiman graphic novel Signal to Noise.  Excepting a couple of volumes of The Sandman, it's my favourite thing Gaiman's written, and it's always stuck with me, but I'd rather hoped that its tale of a dying writer pressing on with a final project he knows he'll never complete wouldn't ever feel as relevant as it does now.  Not that I'm dying - I mean, not that I know of - but I'm three months into a book it's unlikely I'll even be able to finish, let alone attempt to sell.  Right now, I'm writing because, with months of near-total isolation behind me and many more ahead, I've no idea what else to do with myself.  Though I've effectively been out of paying work for half a year, I have underlying health problems that make hunting a new job in the middle of a pandemic a particularly dicey move.

And so I find my brain coming back to Signal to Noise, and especially to that one quote: "Today I did something strange.  I started to write.  There can be no purpose in this.  Still, I am writing."

2020 wiped me out in pretty much every conceivable way.  But specifically for the purposes of this post, it's left my career in tatters and killed off any real possibility that I can keep writing full time, with a large percentage of my output in limbo or languishing in other ways.  No doubt that has a lot to do with the pandemic that's wrecked so much for so many, so it's not like I feel singled out, but it's hard to know to what extent the year wouldn't have still gone disastrously if it had only thrown up the usual share of mishaps and complications.

I was supposed to have six and possibly seven books out in 2020.  Only one made it, my SF novel To End All Wars, and so far the sales figures for that - a book I poured more of myself into than anything I've written and, for me, definitely among the best I've produced - have been the lowest of any I've released.  Truth be told, I've had other books not do so great, and of course it's never fun, but those didn't break my heart so hard as this one.  I feel like there's a parallel universe somewhere where To End All Wars must have found its audience and connected with a bunch of people as something pretty unique, First World War-set science fiction mysteries with gay protagonists not exactly being ten a penny.  Hopefully publisher Aethon might yet figure out how to reach that readership, but in the meantime, if you've enjoyed any of my work and not yet picked it up, maybe now's a good time to?

As for those other five books, they were all with Michael Wills and his outfit Digital Fiction, which has been my principle publisher for the last four years.  One, of course, was the fourth and final entry in the Black River series, Graduate or Die, and another was my novella Graveyard of Titans; both are finished and have been ready to go since early summer.  The other three were my debut Tales of Easie Damasco series, which Michael persuaded me to withdraw from their original publisher Angry Robot so that he could give them a fresh lick of paint and an exciting re-release.  Clearly, none of that's happened, and I'd be lying if I claimed I know why.  Michael has mostly ignored my emails since the back end of 2019, but what he has said is that he's had a tough time in the pandemic and that he's seriously considering closing Digital Fiction, which already appears to be largely shuttered.  He's also, in fairness, said he still intends to put out these five books, but won't tell me when or discuss details.  With 2020 over and not a ghost of a release date, there doesn't seem much room for optimism.

All of that bad news would have been easier to suck up if there'd been any good news to counter it.  I guess the one book I haven't mentioned, the mysterious novella I'd hoped to have announced by now, falls into that category, except that here we are and I still can't, so the best to be said on that front is that it'll hopefully be a positive note in the very near future.  As for the short fiction side of things, the year got off to a fantastic start, with Ghost Drive in new market Hybrid Fiction and Not Us going to Nightmare, along with reprint sales of Casualty of Peace to The Dark and Parasite Art being picked up for this year's NewCon Press SF best-of.  Had it gone on in that vein, I'd have been more than happy, but the last nine months have been a wasteland: there's one sale I can't reveal yet and, fingers crossed, another coming soon, but given the staggering number of hours I've put in to revising and submitting short fiction, the results are effectively a disaster.

If all of this sounds as if I'm giving up, it's not like I've much of a choice at present.  I've no writing income and no particular hope of more coming along in sufficient quantity to save me from ruin.  But I have a couple of novels finished and a couple more at first draft stage, and I've spent a lot of the last six months readying a second short story collection, compiling and polishing a bunch of work I'm especially proud of, so I guess the time will come when I make moves in those directions.  It just won't be my priority if an alternative should come along.  Even were it not for the financial pressures, I don't have the heart for it right now.  Frankly, the publishing world hasn't treated me too kindly for the most part, and that's been particularly true of the last few months.  I am, at the very least, ready for a sizable break in which I try to figure out what the hell it is I'm doing.

Fortunately, there was some good that come out of 2020 - I've finally learned some slightly more than basic cooking skills, thanks to the rather brilliant Simplycook, my oldest friend has moved to the right end of the country, and at the very least I've enjoyed writing an absurd number of anime reviews - but my professional life has mostly been one long kick to the face, and I could do without twelve more months of that.  Up until recently, the plan was to wrap up the first draft of a book no one would read and then, assuming I could do so without major risk of death, look for whatever jobs people do who've gone from being self-employed in a profession nobody respects into an employment market ravaged by months of plague and government incompetence - but given the present vaccination schedules, even that's starting to look optimistic.  So who knows, maybe this new book will end up getting finished after all, whether I want it to or not?

Not Us in Nightmare, and Other News (or the Annoying Lack Thereof)

 If you're a regular reader of the blog and have been getting frustrated with the fact that for weeks now I've been posting endless anime reviews and nothing in the way of writing news then, believe me, I share that frustration.  And the fact of the matter is that there should be news: about the fourth Black River book, Graduate or Die, which is finished and ready and yet not out for reasons I'm not privy to, and about a novella that's similarly done and dusted, and about another major project with Digital Fiction that's seemingly in limbo, if not somewhere worse.  I hope those are all still happening.  I hope they'll all be happening really damn soon.  But I don't know for a fact, because I don't have that information.  I mean, I guess that's 2020, right?  Whatever else this year has been, it most definitely hasn't been the year when things went to plan.  And obviously, the minute I have some solid and meaningful information to share, I'll be doing just that.

Fortunately, I do have another major project nearing completion, and it's immensely exiting, and by "nearing completion" I mean "pretty much just waiting for a cover" - but the other thing it's waiting for is an official announcement from the publisher, and while I sort of have permission to discuss it, I figure it'd be nicer for everyone if I hold off until they're comfortable letting the cat out of the bag.  So for the minute I'll just reiterate what I've already cryptically said: it's a genre and topic unlike anything I've attempted to cover before, but a subject matter unusually close to my heart, and it's with one of my absolutely favourite publishers, who I'm very excited indeed to be involved with.

But there is a single concrete bit of good and announce-able news, and that's my real reason for finally getting around to a proper post: in what's turned out to be a mostly crummy year for short fiction (and, let's face it, everything) one of the few legitimately brilliant things to happen was selling my story Not Us to splendid horror 'zine Nightmare.  This is my third piece there, and my shortest at a trim 3000 words, and I'm not going to say it's my best because realistically that's probably Great Black Wave, but it's definitely one of the better horror stories I've written.  I mean, if it is a horror story; I suspect it's one of those pieces that very much gives back what you bring to it, and I'm curious to see what the response will be.  At any rate, I'm always grateful when I manage to sell something this thorny and hard to categorise.

If you just want to read Not Us then - well, that's cool and all, you're certainly allowed to, but you'd be missing out on some good stuff.  Nevertheless, if you really do, you can find it at the link here, along with a podcast version read by Stefan Rudnicki.  Oh, and there's an interview with me, too, where I talk about the story a bit, but mostly ramble at excessive length about movies and comics and whatever else came into my head.  Really, though, the thing to do would be to buy the entirety of issue 97, because that way you'll also get three more stories, in the shape of Furtherest by Kaaron Warren, The Monkey Trap by Adam-Troy Castro, and The Secret Of Flight by A.C. Wise.  And needless to say, you'd also be supporting a fantastic horror fiction venue that entirely deserves to be supported.

Graduate or Die Delayed But Close

For those wondering where the fourth Black River book is, I can only apologise for the unexpectedly lengthy radio silence.  Until quite recently, I didn't know myself where exactly things were at, and it seemed better to stay quiet until I did.  Graduate or Die should have been ready and with the publisher by now, but we had some unfortunate issues with our copy editor, who missed a couple of deadlines and finally handed the book in almost a month late.  Add to that the fact that what they eventually delivered wasn't altogether what they'd been asked to provide, especially when it came to things like brevity and moderation, and the result is that, though the end is very much in sight, it's taking that bit longer to get there than I'd have hoped.

But fear not ... I've nearly made it!  And in fairness, it's always better to get too much feedback than too little, especially when a fair percentage of what was in there was genuinely useful, so at least I'm confident we're putting out this last book in the best state it can be.  Also, the holdups have given me plenty of opportunity to address some other outstanding elements; and so, for example, we have a brilliant introduction by one of the biggest names in modern fantasy to go with those by the lovely folks who helped us out on the first three.  I won't say who just yet, but suffice to say that, if you're into fantasy, there's a good chance they're one of your favourite authors.

As for a release date, my making a guess when the publisher hasn't officially set one is probably too much like tempting fate, especially at the moment, when predicting anything feels like tempting fate.  What I can say with confidence is that everything will be ready at my end by the middle of next month, so as things stand, there's no particular reason Graduate or Die shouldn't be out soon after that.  Fingers crossed, right?  I feel like I've been working on this one for an age, and according to my magical spreadsheet of timekeeping, I have been working on it fairly constantly for the better part of a year, so I'm as eager as anyone to see it out in the world.

Graduate or Die Cover Reveal

It's been rather quiet here on the blog for the last few weeks, but I do have a good excuse.  I've been putting the last touches to the fourth Black River book, which goes by the title of Graduate or Die, because ... well, you can probably work it out, right?  One way or another, everything's coming to a close with this one, and you don't get to attend your graduation ceremony if you've been eaten by a dragon.

One of those aforementioned finishing touches happens to also be my reliably favourite part of being a writer, namely working with a fantastic artist to come up with the perfect cover.  As with the first three Black River Chronicles, that meant absolute superstar Kim Van Deun, and the only reason I can't say that Kim's outdone himself this time around is because he always outdoes himself, if such a thing is possible.  Don't believe me?  Here's what's going on the front of Graduate or Die...

Actually, from Kim's point of view, I suspect this might have been the toughest brief yet.  I've never been a professional artist, but I get the impression that the more elements, the harder things become, and five students facing off against a dragon is a lot to cram in there.

Wait ... five students?  We haven't had five students on any of the previous covers!  And who the heck is that in the upper left?  Yes, the gang have a new member to contend with, and there was no way I wasn't crowbarring Lucenna Fia-Arcwright into this image, because she was my personal highlight of writing this fourth book, for reasons you'll get to share in the not-too-distant future.  It's hard to say when exactly, because we still have the copy-edits and proofs to go, but I'd say we should be ready before the summer's over.  And in the meantime, here, in all its glory, is the complete wraparound artwork, which has a teaser or two of its own to reveal...

2019: Is It Bad to Have Had a Good Year?

Looking back, it feels absurd to say that 2019 was a good year, even when I'm only trying to sum up my own experiences.  Whatever your stance, it's safe to assume you probably got as fed up as everyone did with the unremitting tire fire that was British and US politics, which increasingly looked like a cruel parody of how you might imagine modern democracies ought to be run.  And even all that seemed like nothing besides a messy sideshow to far more cataclysmic problems, as the world in general finally caught on to the fact that we're not centuries but decades away from irreparably trashing the only planet we have and then proceeded to go back to sticking its fingers in its ears and whistling.  In the face of all that, anything that's not screaming despair seems a bit silly.

Still.  Personally I had a pretty good year, all told.

To immediately row back from that glimpse of optimism, it's fair to say that probably had a lot to do with 2019 not being the horror show of 2018, and thus being better basically by default.  But it's also fair to say that, while it had its share of tribulations, nothing went horrifically wrong, and there were a lot of happier moments along the way.  On the writing front, I was convinced at the end of 2018 that I wouldn't still be in business by this point, and I am, and I have four books lined up, among them a project with one of my favourite publishers that came absolutely out of the blue.  In that sense, it's probably also true that 2019's biggest virtue is the extent to which it set up good stuff for 2020.  Okay, so I have no clue how I'm going to get through this one, either, the money hasn't exactly been rolling in and I can't keep on operating at a loss forever, but this time I'm determined to stick with the writing career for another twelve months at least.  Things have gone well enough to warrant that commitment, but even if they hadn't, there are a couple of novels I'm itching to write and I'd really like to get one of them out of my system.

And it's not as though 2019 didn't have a few legitimate high points.  I've had a couple more books released, that's certainly something.  With some doubts towards the end of last year as to the future of the Black River Chronicles, it was a tremendous relief to get book three, Eye of the Observer, out there, knowing I'd be wrapping up the series exactly as I was hoping to in the upcoming Graduate or Die.  And while the release of my standalone thriller A Savage Generation wasn't such a joyous experience - the reception has been on the decidedly quiet side - I was still glad to finally usher it into the world after a gestation period of nigh on a decade.  After all that time and so much revision, I was past the point where I could objectively say whether it was any good, so the fact that what reviews there have been are positive was a big weight off.  Sad to say, the under-performance of both my books with Flame Tree Press means that writing more thrillers in the foreseeable future feels like too big a gamble, but I hope it's something I'll return to eventually, since I feel like I didn't altogether suck at it.

Elsewhere, while the short story side of things didn't prove terribly profitable, a lot of what I had out was exciting in its own right.  After a desperately slow start, the year saw my first translations into Italian and Japanese, my first pick for a best-of anthology, a return to Interzone after too long a gap and my fourth appearance in those stunning hardback anthologies the other branch of Flame Tree have been routinely putting out.  Add to that a couple of new stories appearing and a couple more reprint sales upcoming for this year, and the short fiction front definitely offered up its share of treats, not to mention a reminder that it's something I really want to go back to devoting more energy to if I can possibly find the time.

And then there's the personal stuff, which hasn't been particularly dramatic and was all the better for that.  Mostly it was a case of plodding along, both figuratively and literally; most of my happiest moments were spent wandering in the wilds, and the highlight of my year was getting through all twenty-six miles of the Yorkshire Three Peaks on my own, an achievement I've been meaning to tick off my bucket list for an awfully long time but certainly didn't expect to enjoy half so much as I did, or to get such phenomenal weather for.  Oh, and I got to the end of my first fully fledged D&D campaign, which was an awesome experience ... thank you, Jimi, if you happen to read this, for the immense amounts of work you put into our crazy epic of an adventure, I'm about to wrap up a four book series and I still don't have a clue how you pulled it all together!

Now, I'm not much for new year's resolutions, and if I was going to make any, they'd mostly involve continuing stuff I've already started.  Foremost is a bid to stop working such nutty hours, which I've made some real advances with - yay for not hammering away until nine o'clock most nights! - but still have a way to go on.  Generally I've come to appreciate that you can't become a successful writer by simply throwing every waking hour at your career, or that maybe you can, but it's probably never going to be worth it in the long term from the point of view of not becoming a burned-out shell of a human being.  This job has demanded a lot of me over the last decade, and I don't resent that - I hope to have fourteen or fifteen books out by the end of 2020, and that seems a fair payoff - but there are other things I'd like to be devoting attention to, and it would be amazing to get to the end of a year and not feel ready to drop.  Actually, I think that maybe is my new year's resolution: to not put writing first to the extent that it totally kicks my ass.  That seems reasonable, right?  If I could pull that off, get these upcoming books out, and, I dunno, maybe make some proper headway with my snail-paced attempts to learn Japanese, then I reckon that'll be 2020 put to good use.

End-of-the-Year Novel Updates

It's been a while since I've discussed the fourth Black River book - known as Graduate or Die, until someone talks me out of it! - and while that's mostly because I'm in that long haul between writing the book and getting to call it finished, there's been enough progress to justify a blog post, I think.

The last I mentioned it, I was stuck editing out a few tens of thousands of words, and that, thankfully, is all done and dusted.  It's still a relatively long book by Black River standards, by far the longest in the series, but now that's because there's a lot crammed in, not because I've used five words when I only needed one.  In fact, every time I come back to it, I'm astonished that I've included everything I intended at the overambitious planning stage: major locations that have merely been mentioned in passing before, character arcs for an ever-growing cast, and lots of weird little details that if I was a fan of this series - and let's face it, I totally am! - I'd get a kick out of seeing.  Which, I guess, is the point: I want this book to be all the sorts of awesome I'd expect if I'd devoted tens of hours to reading the first three.  And so, though with the writing essentially done the rest is noodling, there's a fair bit of noodling ahead.  Fortunately, I have the sort of publisher who's happy to give me a deadline of "deliver it when it's done, within reason."  With that said, I see no reason to suppose that Graduate or Die won't be out by the middle of 2020.

But that's only one of the books I have in the works for imminent-ish release.  I still don't feel like the time's quite right to be announcing the others, but I reckon I can at least go through what they are.  So, in order of when they're likeliest to appear, we have:

- A new science-fiction novel from a publisher I've not worked with before.  This one is being proofed as we speak, everything else is basically ready, and honestly, I probably could get away with just announcing it right now.  At any rate, that time can't be much further off, and it's a book I'm thrilled to be getting into the world, so once the word's out, I'm unlikely to shut up.

- A new science-fiction - or possibly horror, or maybe sci-fi / horror? - novella from a publisher I've worked with quite a lot.  That's in the midst of its copy edits, is one of the most deeply strange and hard-to-classify things I've written, and should be appearing in the first half of next year if all goes well.

- And lastly, a project so secret that I'd better not say too much of anything, except that I'm about to start writing it literally next week, that it's for another publisher I'm new to and insanely excited to be working with, and that I suspect it's going to blow some minds once I get to spread the news, because the concept said publisher approached me with is phenomenal.  Currently I'm a little panicky at the thought that I might not do it justice, while also determined that I will, since it's far too good to mess up.

So there we have it: four books at various stages of completion, but all coming in the not-too-distant future, which is an exciting position to be heading towards the new year in.  More news as I have it / am allowed to share it!