Here we are, then, with the post after what really ought to have been the final post of Drowning in Nineties Anime, 150 being a nice, round number and all. But I had four titles left to review - OK, three plus one I felt obliged to take a second look at, out of an idiotic sense of completism - and what could I do? I mean, other than just not worry about it, given that no one could possibly care? Well, that wasn't going to happen, so here we are, with the true last post of this alarmingly long-winded series.
Or is it? But that's a question with no neat answer, so let's come back to it in the conclusion, once we've taken a look at our could-be-final batch of Salamander, Bite Me! Chameleon, Urotsukidôji IV: Inferno Road, and Prime Rose: A Time Slip of 10'000 Years...
Salamander, 1987 - 1989, dir: Hisayuki ToriumiI can't think of much that would recommend a more than two and a half hour long OVA to me less than learning that it was based on a series of side-scrolling 2D shoot-em-up video games. Granted, the late eighties and nineties saw no end of anime video game adaptations, and many of them were perfectly fine, and a handful were even great. But most of them were based on RPGs, which leant themselves readily to being adapted into a more narrative-heavy medium, or fighting games, which didn't, but at least had a pre-created roster of visually interesting characters and some semblance of a plot. Now, I admit that I've barely played a single side-scroller, but they've never struck me as having much in the way of story beyond, "You're a spaceship, keep travelling up (or right) until you run out of stuff to kill, then stop."
Yet, as Salamander illustrates, meagre source material needn't necessarily be a bad thing. Sure, a lazy team would string a bunch of action scenes along the barest bones of a plot and call it a day. But if you were writer Kazusane Hirashima, you might think to yourself, "Why shouldn't this be a rich, galaxies-spanning space opera with an elaborate backstory, a dash of cosmic horror, and a cast with actual personalities?" And if you were director Hisayuki Toriumi, you might look at the script you'd been handed and think, "You know what, I could actually make something of this." And so, across three 50-minute episodes, we get a genuinely solid sci-fi OVA, with detailed, distinctive designs, exciting action, and some thoroughly respectable animation that shines not just when spaceships are blasting the heck out of weird aliens but also in the quieter, more character-focused moments. But the wildest thing is that Hirashima and Toriumi still find ways to respect their source material, with numerous charming nods towards the games that feel like the best kind of fan service, taking time to think through how to represent side-scrolling action and waves of enemies moving in tandem in ways that look cool rather than goofy, and even working in narrative reasons to explain such unlikely tactics.
At this point, you might be wondering how you've never heard of Salamander, what with it being perhaps the only attempt to translate its particular sub-genre of video game and also somehow being kind of great - and for that we must thank our old pals at Western Connection, that brief-lived UK distributor who never survived long enough to get past VHS releases and apparently burned most of the licenses they'd gathered when they went down, dooming their catalogue to eternal obscurity. However, as I've noted before, in spite of an apparently near-total lack of quality control, Western Connection did release some gems, and they seemed to be getting their act together somewhat towards the end, so that Salamander didn't fare too badly in their hands. The subtitles are quite wonky, despite being credited to noted anime buff Jonathan Clements, but the print is respectable, the packaging looks fairly professional, and really the only thing they get wildly wrong is mis-ordering the three episodes.
That sounds like a big deal and isn't, since it turns out episode 2 is a prequel fleshing out events briefly summarised in the first episode and setting up the core cast at greater length, and watching them in either order has its benefits. And for the purposes of the modern viewer, it barely matters anyway, since whoever took the time to rip all three episodes and chuck them on YouTube was also thoughtful enough to return them to their proper order, something I know because I could only find the first tape and got into a mild panic when I went to watch the second episode, only to discover it was identical. As to whether you should bother with it, I'm not certain Salamander's so good that it transcends its origins; it does fun things with the limitations of being a video game adaptation, but at the end of the day, that's still what it is. Yet if you can get past that, it's comfortably in the upper tier of vintage anime sci-fi, and had it been released by anyone else, I've no doubt it would be fondly remembered.
Bite Me! Chameleon, 1992, dir: Atsushi KaseBite Me! Chameleon probably never stood a chance in the US, and to get quite a bit ahead of ourselves, that's no great injustice. Still, with decades of retrospect, it's apparent just how doomed it was before it even hit the shelves. Some of that, inevitably, has to be laid at the door of distributor ADV, who were so bad at knowing what to do with these smaller titles that you have to wonder why they bothered. Their efforts here began with a name change - in Japanese, it's just Chameleon, in reference to the protagonist's slippery personality - and got as far as making a big point of how shocking their release was. I mean, a big point: we get a presumably self-inflicted Parental Advisory warning, along with the not-quite-accurate declaration that "There's no level to which this film won't sink" - it's not a film for a start, but the first of six OVA episodes, though you can see why they'd want to gloss over that. Then, on the back, they go even further and announce that it's "Not to viewed by anyone under the age of... well anyone." Way to reduce your potential audience to zero, ADV.
The intention, of course, was surely to pitch this towards teenage boys, what with its blatant promises of depravity and hints of violence and naked girls. That makes a measure of sense, since teenagers were presumably the intended audience in Japan, albeit for somewhat different reasons. Bite Me! Chameleon, you see - and you know what, I'm calling it Chameleon from here on, because that's a truly ghastly bit of word salad ADV came up with - is kind of a pastiche of the gang-focused youth culture popular at the time, the sort of thing Akira got so much mileage out of a handful of years earlier, and its angle is to take something that was already fairly shocking and amp up the shock value to absurd levels. Which is where we hit the heart of the translation problem, in that to understand a parody of something, you have to understand the thing itself, and Japanese and American youth culture weren't in a remotely similar place in the early '90s: to the viewer without a clue about yankis, Bōsōzoku gangs, and yakuza wannabes, there's a far higher learning curve to the material than it could hope to warrant.
Not, as I said at the start, the world's greatest injustice, and yet, if only because I'm a contrarian, I'm going to fight Chameleon's corner a little. The thing is, that core idea isn't a bad one, assuming you do have enough of a cultural grasp to follow along, and there's definitely humour to be milked from it. Thus we get as our central character the wildly charmless would-be gang leader Yazawa, doomed to failure by being all of about two feet tall and weak as a three-legged kitten, but with enough of a devious edge and lack of moral compass that he sometimes comes out on top anyway. That's enough of a setup to produce a handful of funny moments, though few come from the eagerness to shock that ADV put so front and centre. Here in 2026, anyway, with nine million or so episodes of South Park behind us, it's not so alarming as all that: someone gets peed on, used tampons make an appearance, there's that brief flash of nudity ADV were quick to slap on the back cover, and of course there's a fair bit of swearing. Least palatable to the modern viewer is likelier to be the gay panic that was so seemingly inescapable in this stuff, though even that gets ever-so-slightly redeemed in the show's final moments.
Predictably, it's not as though the production values offer a distraction, either; the rock soundtrack is perfectly acceptable, though deployed with a thudding lack of thought, and the animation is on the cheap side but nuanced enough to sell a gag when it needs to, especially when it comes to Yazawa, a hideous cartoon aberration dropped into what's otherwise a fairly standard-looking piece of comic anime. Which, by the way, brings us to Chameleon's biggest failing, assuming you can get past all the above: even if his adventures have a sort of slow-motion train-wreck quality that's easy to get caught up in, Yazawa is utterly unsympathetic, to the extent of being actively annoying to look at, and no one else in the cast picks up that slack. That leaves us with 50 minutes of watching mostly unpleasant characters in mostly unpleasant scenarios, some of which are intermittently funny, some of which aren't, and that's not enough to make a comedy worthwhile. I didn't resent my time with Chameleon, which is more than I'd hoped for based on its tiny handful of reviews, and I apparently found it funnier than almost anyone else outside of Japan, but aside from its value as a weird cultural artifact, that's as far as I'd go.
Urotsukidôji IV: Inferno Road, 1993 - 1995, dir's: Hideki Takayama, Shigenori KageyamaSo, yes, I've sort of already covered the fourth entry in the Urotsukidôji series, under the title of Infernal Road - note the two letter difference! - back in post 122. But that was a review of the only version I could lay my hands on, released by UK distributor Kiseki, which had the sizeable failing (or, given that I hated it, sizeable benefit) of only containing the last of three episodes, with the first two, effectively banned at the time in both the UK and the US due to the seismically awful decision to drag children into the rape-and-torture shenanigans of the Urotsukidôji universe, presented only as scripts. And now, thanks to Discotek - uh, thanks, Discotek - we get to finally see what all the fuss was about. I won't, then, bother recapping or revising my thoughts on that third episode, except to note in passing a couple of points where I think I was unfair, the main one being that the animation is nowhere near as bad as I made out; it's even pretty solid, and indeed only the first of the three parts manages to seriously embarrass itself, with a handful of genuinely incompetent moments. But I can't stand by my suggestion that this was a half-hearted rush job: individual moments and occasional entire scenes are moderately impressive, the backgrounds are consistently terrific, and Masamichi Amano's score, which I've persistently failed to sing the praises of, continues to be far too good for the material it's stuck with.
But like I said, there is some lousy animation in there, and it's unfortunate that it's clustered in the first episode, which would have been irredeemably awful even if the finest talents in Japan had clubbed together to give it their best efforts. Aside from the aforementioned moments of plain incompetence, we get that staple of bad anime, the character designs that all feel as though they've wandered in from different projects; and again, I don't want to suggest that anything could have redeemed the wretched tale on offer, (though, between us, I'm about to sort of suggest just that in the next paragraph), but the last thing you need with material this sordid and dumb is for the visuals to be adding to the problems.
At any rate, I feel like digging into the plot would be a waste of words when I can just type "evil psychic children force their parents to have orgies for their entertainment" and move hastily on. Except that here we are and it's that next paragraph, and while I refuse to argue there was ever such a thing as a good version of this plot, if there was, episode two is certainly a damn sight closer to what it would be. Shifting the focus away from sexual violence is an immediate and massive win; the nadir of part one is an interminable rape scene that somehow manages to be both incredibly unpleasant and lazily half-hearted, and is thus the lowest point of a franchise that clocked up so many, many low points. What I neglected to mention, though, is that part one also rolled out some exceedingly distressing horror, including perhaps the most visceral sequence we've had up to that point, and while it's still utterly unpleasant, it's also imaginative and legitimately shocking. Part two doesn't have any single moment as effective, but it's generally more focused on horror - some of it psychological rather that merely gross, even! - and features some solid, creepy imagery, and generally manages to find more interesting ways into the whole "evil psychic children" shtick, including hints of surprisingly thoughtful social criticism and limited but interesting attempts to tie this side story into the wider Urotsukidôji mythos.
None of which is to say that it doesn't suck or that it wasn't horribly misconceived from the ground up or, heaven knows, that you should watch it, but fair's fair, there's stuff that works here, and on a second watch, I'd extend that to the third episode too: in particular, when it bothers to indulge in the horror part of the Urotsukidôji equation, it's pretty effective. That can't help one of history's most deflating endings, and it's gobsmacking to discover that the alternate ending added in for the movie version actually manages to be worse: granted, it's nasty and misogynistic and so much more in keeping with everything we've suffered through up to this point, but it's also profoundly nonsensical and still pays off effectively none of the narrative threads that have been piling up over the last goodness-knows-how-many hours. So while Urotsukidôji: Inferno Road may be marginally less dreadful than I originally made out, it's still a terribly misconceived side story tacked onto one of - nay, two of! - history's worst franchise conclusions, and I'm still more than comfortable in suggesting you avoid it like the plague.
Prime Rose: A Time Slip of 10'000 Years, 1983, dir: Satoshi DezakiHere's an exciting precedent for the final review of our possibly final post: I'm covering something that practically just came out, and for, I believe, the first time outside of Japan. Indeed, this one took me by surprise, since I'd never heard of Prime Rose and didn't know AnimEigo had released it until after the fact, despite following them on the social medias and whatnot. This came as part of the distributor's recent change in direction, whereby they actually put new stuff out occasionally and don't rely on Kickstarter campaigns and the same handful of titles they've been releasing for, like, two decades, and suggests that maybe the next logical step in that plan might be to actually tell people when you have something new for them. Regardless, it's exciting progress, as is much of what this new incarnation of AnimEigo is up to.
And with all that, it's a shame Prime Rose: A Time Slip of 10'000 Years sucks quite as hard as it does.
I'll say this in its favour: while it reminded me a lot of Space Firebird 2772, another Osamu Tezuka adaptation from a mere three years earlier, which I covered a couple of posts ago, it's not half so annoying as all that. This I put down not to better source material, since the plotting is every bit as illegible and possibly more so, but less direct involvement from Tezuka, who I'm coming to suspect was effectively Japan's version of Stan Lee: sure his influence was profound, sure he created lots of well-loved characters, but that's not to say you'd actually want to go back and read his work. Maybe that's unfair, especially since I haven't tried to read anything by Tezuka, but I refuse to believe that the top-to-bottom mess that is Prime Rose's script can be solely, or even mostly, down to screenwriter Keisuke Fujikawa, who appears to have spent most of his efforts in trying to ensure that scenes at least follow on comprehensibly from each other.
That plot, then, so far as I could make sense of it, which I absolutely couldn't: the evil entity Death Mask, a big floating head in space, splits in two and plummets to Earth, landing on two cities, which somehow catapults them and all their inhabitants 10'000 years into the future. Our hero, Gai Tanbara, is sent forward in time to investigate - rather than, say, back in time a week to evacuate the two cities, though unlimited time travel seems to be a thing in this universe - and discovers that, in the span of zero years, the two cities have turned into facsimiles of ancient Rome and ancient-Vague Generic World Culture, and are fighting at the behest of Death Mask, except not really, since the Romans - sorry, Gromans! - have already won and enslaved the Genericans or whatever they're called. But they haven't counted on the plucky princess Prime Rose, who sets out on a quest for revenge over her murdered lover that she's forgotten about within three scenes and... Well, stuff. Lots of stuff.
What saves Prime Rose, ever so slightly, is that some of that stuff is, if not good, then at least fun and odd enough to provide transitory amusement and a distraction from the general incoherence. On the other hand, some of it is plain awful, and nothing more so than the character of Bunretsu, who stows away with Gai and proceeds to spend the next hour being a hate crime against the very notion of comic relief characters. Bunretsu is repellent on every level, from his design through to the way he spends most of the second half leching over Prime Rose, who transforms from warrior princess to simpering pin-up girl so fast that it's lucky she didn't die of self-inflicted whiplash and thus becomes the second worst thing in her own movie.
Though the scene in which she somehow makes having a bath in a puddle look like the world's sluttiest strip tease, then freaks out at Bunretsu for watching her, does at least wake up the animators, who before and after seem quite happy to just get the job done: it's not an ugly film, but when it's not fixating on Prime Rose's bum, it's also not one that's willing to try very hard or attempt anything very visually interesting, and that's before you get to Tezuka's designs, which are an acquired taste that I don't plan on acquiring any time soon. The score fares better, but not so much better that you'd actively choose to listen to it, and that leaves the movie without a single standout feature. No, I lie, Prime Rose does acquire the ability to turn her body to stone at one point, and that makes for a couple of novel sequences, while also facilitating her rapid arc from feisty sword-fighting rebel to literal sexy ornament. And yet it is all extremely weird, and I can't honestly say I took no pleasure in how bewildering and nonsensical the plot was, and the animators truly did put their hearts into that puddle bath scene, so I'd be lying if I said I didn't get some enjoyment out of it.















