Friday, 25 February 2022

Drowning in Nineties Anime, Pt. 115

Here's a worry: we're not terribly far off the point where I run out of DVD-released titles to review, and since I'm still unhealthily addicted to vintage anime after all these many years, that's inevitably led me to seek out more and more stuff that never made it as far as DVD.  But while I've never pretended these posts served much of a purpose, filling up entire entries with titles that never even made it onto a remotely modern format seems a bit pointless even by Drowning in Nineties Anime standards.

Thankfully, we're not quite there yet, or even all the way through the relatively well-known stuff; heck, this time around we have a franchise that was revamped not so long ago and two that are still going strong.  But yes, we also have something that never made it past a VHS release, and for better or worse, that's likely to be a feature of most posts going forward.  Put it all together and you get Ushio & Tora, Case Closed: The Last Wizard of the Century, Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team: Miller's Report, and Compiler...

Ushio and Tora, 1992 - 1993, dir: Kunihiko Yuyama

Is it too much to ask of a comedy action horror show that it be uncommonly great at delivering comedy, action, and horror?  A not entirely serious question, I admit, because obviously it's a big ask that anything be uncommonly great on even a single front, but still, we could all point to any number of anime, or to any amount of genre fare in general, and pick endless examples where more subgenres were crammed in than the creators rightly knew what to do with or where one or more elements felt as though they'd been included more from a sense of duty than any creative passion.

What's most striking about Ushio and Tora, then, is not so much its uniqueness - of which there's not really that much to speak of, though the core concept is a brilliant take on tried-and-tested ideas - but the extent to which it does everything it tries its hand at to such a remarkably high standard and with such obvious enthusiasm.  The action is thrilling.  The horror is ingenious and freaky and really quite shocking in places.  The comedy is actually funny and a welcome relief rather than an annoying distraction.  And even when Ushio and Tora steps outside of those comfortable boxes and dabbles in, say, a spot of light-hearted romance, it still manages not to embarrass itself.

Really, though, it's bromance that's the order of the day, as that title suggests, or as it does if you know that Ushio is a kid who happens to stumble upon the monster his ancient ancestor once supposedly defeated sealed up down in the cellar with a magic spear stuck in him, which Ushio is fool enough to pull out, and that he decides on a whim to name said monster Tora, because he looks as much like a tiger as he does anything else.  From there, you can sort of see how things will go, with Ushio and Tora butting heads and battling other supernatural threats as a grudging team, and Ushio getting into trouble over the presence of a giant carnivorous demon that only he can see, but what sets Ushio and Tora apart is how wholeheartedly it commits to every element of that concept.  To focus on a single example, it's striking how Tora never becomes safe, in spite of the frequent jokes at his expense: even in the latest episodes, where he's notionally on side with Ushio, he's a fearsome, unsettling presence, and that has much to do with Chikao Ôtsuka's outstanding performance in the role, veering between snarling menace and self-satisfied amusement and generally finding the perfect meeting point of the two to conjure up a hundreds-of-years-old hellbeast that we both fear and want to spend time around.

Which isn't to suggest that the rest of the cast and crew aren't doing nearly as good work; bar some opening and closing themes that I never warmed up to, there's no trace of bad craft here.  The writing is thoroughly ingenious, finding a constant stream of fresh takes on familiar ideas and dredging up foes from the darkest corners of Japanese folklore that I, as someone who's seen far too many similar titles, had never encountered.  And the animation and direction are equal to the writing: it helps that the show has such a distinctive look, one of almost unpleasantly rich oranges and blues and character designs that are always a little too dirty and jagged, but that's not to dismiss what a terrific job Yuyama does.  Managing such a range of tones and nailing them all without letting the seams show is nobody's idea of easy, but Yuyama - and Ushio and Tora in general - sure does make it look that way.

Case Closed: The Last Wizard of the Century, 1999, dir: Kenji Kodama, Yasuichirô Yamamoto

The Last Wizard of the Century is, I would say, the first legitimately good film in the Case Closed franchise.  Oh, the first two had their virtues, and certainly both made for an enjoyable watch, but with this third movie, the franchise finally manages to deliver an entry where the virtues are significant and the flaws are trivial enough not to be much of a problem.  It is, mind you, definitely no more than good, and at this point I wonder if Case Closed has any real seeds of greatness in it.  I suspect that you could bend this formula far enough that it would produce a work of genuine excellence - if only because, here in the third film, there are elements moving visibly in the right direction - but we're a fair way from that point yet.

But I came to praise The Last Wizard of the Century, not to bury it, so let's begin by noting that it omits the cardinal sin of the first two entries, that of making its central mystery very obvious indeed.  Granted, the villain of the piece is nearly as immediately guessable as on the last two occasions, but their identity is far less significant this time around, and I think that's the crucial difference: in place of a murder mystery, what we have instead is a Da Vinci Code-esque historical thriller, and there are enough different moving parts that the pleasure is less in getting ahead of its conundrums than in keeping on top of them enough to cling on for the ride.  In this, I'd argue that The Last Wizard of the Century still manages to cheat a bit, in that the crucial details are reliably obvious but thrown at you, sometimes, so rapidly that it's tough to keep track; but then, this being Case Closed, anything at all important gets laboriously repeated once its significance is revealed, so it's barely an issue.

Arguably this is still rather dubious behaviour for what's meant to be a mystery, but as I noted the last time we looked at Case Closed, that evidently isn't high on the franchise's priority list and its probably pointless to grumble too much about its failures to do something that was never on the cards.  Plus, the plot is legitimately fun, even when it's milking some fairly over-explored historical ground: we have the murdered Romanov family, we have Rasputin, we have a previously undiscovered Fabergé egg or two, and chuck in a genius sneak-thief foil for Conan and an assassin with a penchant for shooting people in the eye and there are more than enough spinning wheels to produce something satisfyingly convoluted.  There's an awful lot of narrative to get through, enough to comfortably warrant the film's hundred minute running time, and that has the added virtue of making it feel more like a proper movie and less like a TV special, as per the previous two.

Not that the technical values exactly scream cinema release.  In fairness, the animation is more than respectable, but it's easy to miss how impressive it frequently is when the direction is so leaden.  For this entry, the helmer of the first two and the next few to come, Kenji Kodama, is joined by the man who'd be his successor toward the middle of the 2000s, Yasuichirô Yamamoto, and perhaps the results are a little stronger, but there's still a desperate lack of character and imagination: rare indeed is the shot where it feels like a choice was made that wasn't "let's make sure everyone's in shot."  Fortunately, Kodama is at least good at keeping things moving at a fair lick, and that's enough to keep his limitations from harming the material.  Plus, the rare occasions the film does decide to show off usually come just when they're needed: the climax, especially, manages to use the medium to make what on paper ought to be dull and talky legitimately exciting.  All told, it's a marked shift in the right direction, and if the movies stuck to this upward curve, then I'm a little sad to be saying my goodbyes.

Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team: Miller's Report, 1998, dir's: Mitsuko Kase, Takeyuki Kanda, Umanosuke Iida

Compilation movies are a tricky business, or they are if they blatantly don't have the running time to boil a given series down to even its barest essentials.  Miller's Report runs to about fifty-five minutes including credits; Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team's twelve episodes contained at least five times that much footage.  So there was never any possibility of condensing the show in its entirety, and where did that leave its creators?  Should they whip through hours of material at lightning speed?  Should they focus on an isolated incident or two, or at any rate a single plot strand?  Should they try and carve out their own story, even if that meant producing new footage?

Miller's Report answers those questions with a resounding, "Yes, yes, yes, and yes."  It recaps discreet chunks of narrative, almost all from The 08th MS Team's first half, while adding what can't be more than a few minutes of new animation to smooth out some rough patches and generally give things a bit of meaningful shape.  Some of the added scenes would have been ill-fitted to the show, but others feel a lot like outtakes, even though outtakes aren't really a thing in animation unless someone's done their job spectacularly badly.  Still, we might cynically suggest that bits of this footage were held back purposefully, or at least were consciously sidelined at the scripting stage, because their insertion would definitely have made certain sequences flow together more smoothly.  Mostly, though, what we get is recapping, with two events covered in considerable depth and a scattering of others whooshed past to give us enough information to follow along.

 It doesn't altogether work, as you might expect, and for a viewer unfamiliar with the series, I wonder how some elements would work at all: major characters pop up incessantly without introduction, even well into the final third, their relationships to the rest of the cast never to be explained, and it would be generous to describe the results as a coherent plot.  What we get, rather, is a series of happenings strung together loosely by theme and more so by a focus on protagonist Shiro Amada, his relationship with enemy pilot Aina Sahalin, and the resulting conflicts both moral and marshal.  But it's here that Miller's Report plays its trump card, in the shape of its titular character, a mysterious government spook who when we first meet her is interrogating Shiro on the eve of his court martial for possibly collaborating with the enemy.  This works on the simple level of offering a mechanism by which Amada can tell us his story, but to their credit, the film's creators dig deeper than that.  Miller crops up again and again, and each time we learn a little more about her, though never so much that we have a clear angle on the character, until a final confrontation that does a fine job of offering a meaningful conclusion even though there's still a third and change of the show left to go.

Miller is an excellent addition, arguably enough so to single-handedly make the film that bears her name worthwhile.  Her existence genuinely improves The 08th MS Team, challenging Shiro's values and judgements in ways that they conspicuously weren't challenged in the show, which always seemed to be largely on his side.  Since we're talking about one of the finest Gundam series ever, though, it's not as though everything going on around her isn't great: it's hard to judge whether the animation's been polished up, because the show was so routinely superb on that front, but it's certainly terrific, and needless to say, the writing and direction are top-tier.  The only real question, then, is who the heck would want to watch the thing when it has the potential to alienate both existing fans by offering them little they haven't already seen and new viewers by leaping over many a crucial detail.  For the former, who'll likely own a copy anyway since it comes with the blu-ray edition, I'd suggest doing what I did and waiting just long enough that your memories have begun to fade, so that the movie becomes a pleasant reminder of how splendid The 08th MS Team was.  And for the latter, though it might be puzzling in places, I can definitely see this working as a bite-sized introduction to Gundam for those wondering what the mega-franchise has to offer, even if there are undoubtedly better places to begin.

Compiler, 1999, dir's: Takao Kato, Kiyoshi Murayama

Imagine, if you will, a take on the Oh! My Goddess formula, whereby one of more supernaturally powered females force themselves into the life of a single, socially awkward male, but one commissioned about a week before it had to be out and created by people who'd never in fact seen Oh! My Goddess or one of its countless imitators and indeed had only ever had the concept described to them at two in the morning after a heavy night of drinking.  So instead of a household of goddesses we have three invaders from what's described as a 2D world but must surely be intended to be some sort of cyber-realm within the Earth's computers, given that their names are Compiler, Assembler, and Interpreter.  And having rapidly lost interest in that invading business, as we meet them Compiler and Assembler are shacked up not with one lone nerdy guy but with a nerd and his hard-drinking, lecherous brother, in between fending off occasional attacks from their former masters, though that's a matter no one appears to be taking remotely seriously.

If I'm being vague, it's because ninety percent of what I've described arrives in a brief introductory villain monologue: by the time we join the show, Interpreter has largely vanished from the picture and Compiler and Assembler have settled into a comfortable groove of hanging out with their kind-of boyfriends.  Now obviously, taking a hackneyed concept, making it much dumber, and then largely forgetting about in favour of some random slice-of-life shenanigans is hardly the obvious route to great entertainment.  And I'd be lying if I said Compiler wasn't a little terrible; but its unwillingness, or perhaps inability, to stick to a genre template that couldn't have been much easier to follow by this point definitely gives it a certain weird energy.  This is truer of the first episode, which is positively demented and seems mostly to have been an excuse to make lots of jokes at the expense of Osaka and Osakans - here, by the way, the unexpectedly decent ADV dub surprised me by leaning hard into the culturally specific humour rather than, like, pretending this was all happening in Pittsburgh or something.  I'd say a good sixty percent of the gags rely on knowledge of Japanese culture that the vast majority of Westerners won't have - the climatic one needs half a dozen screens of helpfully provided text to remotely comprehend - and yet somehow the sheer wackiness and enthusiasm is compulsive in and of itself.  None of which is true of the second episode, which decides to take a deep dive into Compiler's relationship problems, while ditching the humour and the whole cyber-assassins-from-the-digital-world angle in favour of slightly gloomy melodrama.  But while this is obviously much less fun than part one, if only because at no point does it feature a battle between giant animated corporate mascots, it again gains points for the what-the-hellness that's Compiler's main redeeming feature.

Unsurprisingly, neither episode dazzles with its technical accomplishments, though in fairness neither is ever obnoxiously bad.  Its apparent that a lot of the animators' attention was going into getting the bare breasts more or less right, because there are a ton of those on display - sentient computer programs, you see, do not understand this human concept we call "nudity" - but they also wake themselves up for the action sequences, which are commendably solid.  And the music is perfectly fine, with a catchy enough opening track; plus, for the abovementioned mascot battle we get a riff on the Godzilla theme that's just different enough to avoid a lawsuit, and I'll never turn my nose up at a good Akira Ifukube pastiche.

If you've never heard of Compiler - aside from the many reasons I've covered above! - it's because ADV chose not to bring it out on DVD, though based on their advertising, it seems to have come awfully close.  And while they'd release plenty worse titles on the format, I can't altogether criticise their decision: Compiler is a long way from indispensable.  Still, if you're the sort of person who's inclined to dredge through the obscurest corners of vintage anime in search of titles that at least stand out as entertainingly strange, then it's very much worth a look; at any rate, the first episode is, and if that's enough to draw you into Compiler's bewildering world then why not keep going?  Though whether I'll feel the same having watched volume 2 - because, yes, there's more to come! - is anyone's guess...

-oOo-

So our first step in a while back to VHS-land wasn't a total washout, which is good news because, like I said at the top, those truly long-lost titles are going to be more than ever a feature going forward.  As for the rest, the only absolute standout is Ushio and Tora, which I'm amazed doesn't have more of a reputation, but thinking about it, this was one of those rare entries with no real low points.  Okay, except Compiler, probably, but let's not be mean about Compiler, it needs all the breaks it can get.  I mean, you try holding your head high around all the young and up-and-coming animes when you didn't even get as far as a DVD and even your own creators have probably forgotten you exist by now!


[Other reviews in this series: By Date / By Title / By Rating]

Sunday, 13 February 2022

Drowning in Nineties Anime, Pt. 114

One trend I haven't mentioned, but that's been a feature of the last few posts, is that I've been working through some stray ADV titles that for whatever reason I've missed along the way, and this concludes here with a look at a couple of their less well-known entries.  I have a weird relationship with ADV, in that they probably put out more of my favourite stuff than anyone, and yet, of all the big distributors, I tend to feel most resentful about their crappier releases, some of which were extremely crappy indeed - I'm looking at you, Samurai Shodown, and I wish I didn't have to!  I think it's partly the sense that, out of everyone, they really ought to have known better, and partly that, as much as an outfit like U.S. Manga Corps were responsible for their share of garbage, they did have some standards: they never, to my knowledge, released a dub-only DVD or recoloured blood green to try and evade the censors.

And all of this I mention because this time around we have both extremes, with an ADV title that I liked a great deal and one that offended me down to the very marrow of my bones.  Add in the continuation of our Case Closed mini-marathon and something I'm trying hard to pretend isn't what it says on the tin and that gives us Galaxy Fraulein Yuna, Once Upon a Time, Case Closed: The Fourteenth Target, and If I see You in My Dreams: The TV Series...

Galaxy Fraulein Yuna, 1995 - 1997, dir's: Yorifusa Yamaguchi and Akiyuki Shinbo

If your main criticisms of Project A-Ko were that it took itself a bit too seriously and didn't contain about seven hundred major characters then, reader, I may have just the show for you!  And if you further felt that the problem with A-Ko's sequels was that they didn't ditch the goofy humour for soul-crushing bleakness, then I'm pleased to say the news is very good indeed.  Not that I want to set out by implying that Galaxy Fraulein Yuna isn't its own thing, but neither would I feel I'd done anyone a disservice if they came away with that conclusion, because for the most part it's more about rearranging old ideas into vaguely novel configurations than it is coming up with anything you mightn't expect or have seen elsewhere.

It does, however, have one neat twist on the magical girl formula to which it generally hews quite closely - and wait, are science magical girls a thing?  Okay, so maybe that's two twists, in that Galaxy Fraulein Yuna is clumping together some fairly traditional magical girl notions with a healthy dose of sci-fi action, but that's not so unexpected as its central big idea, for all that it's going to sound deeply hackneyed on the face of things.  Our heroine Yuna, you see, though she has a science-magical costume change and a sword that appears out of nowhere and sometimes battles inside of a mech that otherwise follows her around as a cutesy chibi version of itself, isn't really much for fighting: she'd much rather solve a crisis using the power of friendship.  And while, sure, that's a notion that's given lip service all over the place, here it really is at the core of everything to a surprising degree.

No doubt this is due in large part to how the two OVAs presented in ADV's collected edition of their former VHS releases are spinning off from a long-running video game series, where it's easy to imagine how the notion of turning enemies into allies might function as a gameplay mechanic.  But translate that into anime and what you get is an unusually good-hearted show about an unusually nice and caring character who genuinely isn't at all inclined to solve her problems with violence.  Which isn't to suggest there isn't a whole lot of violence in Galaxy Fraulein Yuna, because there certainly is, and especially in the second, somewhat longer OVA, the one that drifts so hard away from the goofy comedy that until that point seemed to be very much what the franchise was about.  However, even there, the emphasis is completely different, and it's startling just how much having a protagonist who truly wants to be everyone's friend regardless of how hard they may have been trying to kill her just a scene ago alters the usual dynamic of this sort of show.  If only because it's the main reason the cast is so outrageously stuffed: when you turn all your enemies into allies, you end up with a heck of a lot of allies, and even though these two OVAs are set more toward the front than the back of the Yuna franchise, she's still accumulated more than her share of colourful former foes turned friends.

It's a nice hook, and the enormous cast is both a minor problem and the source of the odd good gag at the expense of those who end up getting sidelined.  By the same measure, Galaxy Fraulein Yuna navigates the transition from comedy to tragedy unusually well, so it's not half the problem it might be.  The two OVAs, for all that they came out fairly close together, are very much their own things, but that ends up as more a virtue than a flaw, especially since three more episodes of the extreme wackiness that characterised the original OVA might have grown wearying.  And it helps that our director for part two is the mighty Akiyuki Shinbo, who I've often praised around these parts: he's not doing anything spectacular here, but he's a marked leap up from Yorifusa Yamaguchi, whose main virtues are not getting in the way of his material and marshalling his resources well enough for the odd standout sequence.  Really, though, they're both quite capable of doing right by a title that, for all its similarities to lots of other stuff, stands out by getting plenty right and nothing conspicuously wrong and being awfully nice and good-hearted even in those moments when it's also being gruellingly grim and dark.

Case Closed: The Fourteenth Target, 1998, dir: Kenji Kodama

The Fourteenth Target is an even worse murder mystery than the first Case Closed movie, The Time Bombed Skyscraper, and that's quite the accomplishment.  For the second time running, I guessed who the killer was in the scene they were introduced, and if I didn't also immediately predict their motive this time around, it's only because said motive would be quite impossible to predict without a slew of information that's revealed only when it absolutely has to be.  And while The Time Bombed Skyscraper managed to fold in some fun little mini-mysteries for the audience to exercise their detecting abilities on, The Fourteenth Target can't even rise to that: aside from the odd sequence where we're expected to try and figure out what clue our hero sleuth Conan has noted but refuses to let us in on, there's only a brief logic puzzle that's shamelessly plagiarised from the first movie.

But then, I'm not convinced The Fourteenth Target cares about being a persuasive mystery; given how preposterous the central conceit is, it's hard to suppose that was anyone's goal.  The plot this time around is convoluted enough to make Agatha Christie blush: a killer is targeting the acquaintances of hapless detective Kogoro Mori, working through them based on the numeric order of elements of their names that match up to the numbers of a suit of cards, counting down from thirteen to zero, because who doesn't have fourteen acquaintances with numbers in their names?  And I guess I ought to have tagged that with a spoiler warning, maybe, but unless you can read kanji and can read character names that have been clumsily subtitled over AND can translate romaji into kanji at the speed of lightning, there's no possibility of you working any of this out in advance.  See what I mean about how this functions as a murder mystery?  Or rather, doesn't function at all?

The trick, then, is to not take any of what happens seriously, and fortunately, The Fourteenth Target is busy enough and fun enough on a moment by moment basis that refraining from doing so isn't much of a chore.  It works much better as spectacle than The Time Bombed Skyscraper ever tried to, buoyed by some improved animation that rises to the level of intermittently impressive, and for all the plot's failings as regards the genre it's superficially meant to belong to, it does a respectable job of churning out a string of absorbing incidents that are whizzed through with enough pace and vigour that armchair detectiving takes a backseat to simply keeping up with each new development.

What we have, then, is a good franchise movie, irrespective of the franchise the film actually belongs to: a hundred minutes flies by in a blur of comedy and action and suspense and the occasional dash of romance, and if none of it's especially memorable, nor is it ever dull.  And as an entry in this particular franchise, The Fourteenth Target makes good use of the characters and digs into them in ways that actually feel quite meaningful, presumably because this early on it was still possible to chuck out major-feeling character revelations.  It's a solidly good film in a way The Time Bombed Skyscraper wasn't quite - but I'm increasingly wondering what a truly great Case Closed movie might look like and whether such a thing can even exist.  It doesn't help that I still find the core concept deeply unconvincing, and I doubt "teenage detective trapped in a child's body solving crimes by routinely knocking out an adult detective and faking his voice" is going to get less implausible as the series goes along.  But mostly I'm dubious that the creators are capable of crafting an actual mystery, one with - dare I say it? - multiple suspects with plausible motives.  We have one more entry before Case Closed catapults itself into the new millennium, and it's a well-regarded one, so I guess there's still hope!

Once Upon a Time, 1986, dir: Kunihiko Yuyama (English-language version dir: Carl Macek)

Any attempt to grapple with the film known as Once Upon a Time has to begin with the production company Harmony Gold and writer / director Carl Macek, and their presence is so prevalent that I do wonder if there's really any point in reviewing what they concocted as an anime movie at all.  For reasons probably long lost to history, Harmony Gold took one look at the Japanese anti-war parable Windaria and thought, "Ah, here's something that would be a great fit for American audiences, if we can only retrofit it for kids, because obviously adults wouldn't ever watch an animated film."  And this was the job they handed to Macek, who had already satisfactorily butchered together their most famous Frankensteinian hybrid, Robotech.  What they didn't give Macek, however, if the man was to be believed, is a translated script or much of an idea of what the property they'd purchased was about, meaning that, even if anyone involved had been interested in respecting the source material in any way whatsoever, the odds of them pulling it off were vanishingly slender.

I think, though, that we can safely assume respect was on no one's list of priorities, because you don't create something as top-to-bottom ghastly as Once Upon a Time if you're approaching your job with anything like cultural sensitivity or a basic appreciation of the artform you're about to take a hammer to.  It's hard to conceive of how this was ever meant to work - Windaria, even in the form Harmony Gold mangled it into, is startlingly violent and bloody for a kids' film, not to mention depressing as all get out - but it's still remarkable how wrong Once Upon a Time goes in so many different ways.  Most of these stem from the voice cast, only one of whom could be fairly described as half decent, that being Russell Johnson of Gilligan's Island fame, who provides a measure of class and gravity and so succeeds in presumably the one thing anyone required of him.  The script undercuts him horribly, since we're led to believe that Johnson's narrator, meant to represent an older version of protagonist Alan, has learned lessons and gone through moral crises that the material as presented doesn't support in the slightest; still, his presence, and the whole notion of adding a narrator to try and tie this mess together, is probably the closest Macek came to a sound decision.

Everyone else, though, is horrible, and horrible in ways that simply break the film wide open.  In particular, there are a couple of vital relationships where it's crucial we believe characters are deeply in love, and the vocal performances lean more toward indifference or active dislike when they're not sliding into the muddled boredom that's the cast's baseline.  I'll never cease to be in awe of how bad American dubs from this period could get, since surely the most impoverished amateur dramatics society could have pulled off a better job than this, but Once Upon a Time is striking for how little anybody seems remotely interested in salvaging the film.  Johnson is fine, but he's clearly delivering precisely what he was brought in for and no more, and Kerrigan Mahan as young-Alan manages not to seriously fluff maybe half of his readings, but that's as good as it gets, and the bad is so very bad indeed.

And yes, I realise all I've done is talk about the adaptation and that I've said almost nothing about the film, but that's the problem right there: try as you might, it's agonisingly difficult to see the virtues of Windaria through the horrors of Once Upon a Time.  As presented here, the plot just doesn't work: it takes more to deliver a powerful anti-war message than spending half your film presenting two sides gearing up for a conflict and the remainder showing that conflict in fairly unglamorous terms, and if Windaria had a message beyond "war is bad but people insist on doing it anyway, the fools!" then Macek managed to exorcise every last glimpse of it.  And while there are moments of exciting animation and direction, there's a fair bit of cheapness and a general choppiness too; likewise, the score veers between effective and obnoxious, and since some new music was added, that may be on Harmony Gold as well, but still, there's little that truly stands out.  The only aspects I'd say are unreservedly successful are the world-building and mechanical designs, both of which are sometimes good enough to salvage individual scenes from Macek's meddling, and the action sequences, which are genuinely exciting regardless of what nonsense is coming out of the characters' mouths.

Once Upon a Time, then, is a maddening object: the good stuff is just about good enough that it's easy to imagine a much better version, and to suppose Windaria was that version and all the problems are down to Macek and his risible cast; then again, the story as presented is so barely functional that it's equally possible Windaria was broken in the first place, all the more so because it very much seems to be transparently ripping off Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind in ways both big and small while not remotely having the budget to do that ripping off justice.  Fortunately, we'll get to take a look at Windaria one of these days, since it's easy enough to find in fan-sub form, and hopefully we need give no more thought to Once Upon a Time, except to note that it's a frustrating, mildly intriguing time capsule from a period when anime movies were frequently bigger on ideas and ambition than execution and Western producers were quite capable of retroactively making a hash of all three.

If I see You in My Dreams: The TV Series, 1998, dir: Takeshi Yamaguchi

I could mention here how my self-imposed rules prohibit reviewing TV shows and I keep doing so anyway, but the fact is that it actually makes more sense to pretend that the supposedly TV version of If I see You in My Dreams is something other than that, because by television standards it's befuddling.  Its running time comes in at just over two hours, and it consists of sixteen episodes, each with an end credits sequence, meaning - what? - maybe ninety minutes or so of actual show, not to mention how each episode scrapes in at not much over five minutes.  How this aired in Japan I've no idea, but clumping it together and calling it a TV series leaves a very unwieldly and puzzling product indeed, one that for once might have actual benefitted from a spot of distributor interference: chop this up into regular twenty-two minute segments and you'd immediately have something a good deal more watchable.

Though the weird format is definitely a problem, other anime have shown that it's possible to make these bite-sized chunks of narrative work just fine, and in fairness, If I see You in My Dreams more or less pulls it off on an episode by episode basis ... but hang on, I'm getting ahead of myself.  For what we have here is an alternate telling of a tale we've already covered, and which I had warm feelings toward, while admitting that it probably wasn't terribly special in the grander scheme and that quite a bit of it didn't land.  In If I see You in My Dreams: The OVA, the most prominent of those flaws was the comedy, whereas here, it's the romance half of the romcom equation that gets short shrift.  Meaning that theoretically there's an above-par example of the form to be had somewhere between the two, but let's come back to that, shall we?

Because, yes, If I see You in My Dreams: TV is a disaster of a romance, and would be even more so if you hadn't seen the OVA.  Our young lovers are the shy and virginal Misou and the equally virginal and prone to unreasoning anger Nagisa, and there's just no damn reason the pair should be together or that their relationship, such as it is, should endure beyond the first episode.  This time around, we don't get to see their initial meet-cute, so Misou is introduced stalking Nagisa at the pre-school where she works and Nagisa is introduced being mean to him, and so things go for quite a proportion of that two-hour running time.  Nagisa allegedly does like Misou, for reasons we're never really made privy to - while he develops over the course of the show, he has precious little going for him at the start - but spends most of her time in a jealous rage over one unfortunately misinterpreted situation or another.  And given that she has every reason to suppose Misou is at best an unrepentantly two-timing pathological liar, it beggars belief that she'd keep giving him chances, while Misou's habit of banging his head against the brick wall of her apparent indifference is more disturbing than charming.

Nor are those the only issues.  If I see You in My Dreams: TV lacks the major saving grace the OVAs had of some nice animation, and though the designs remain appealing, what's done with them often isn't.  It also treats Nagisa atrociously: we never get enough of her perspective to make her behaviour justifiable and the amount of time we see her showering or bathing becomes absurd well before the halfway mark.  That this is a worse version of something that was only moderately strong in the first place is, I think, undeniable - yet it's not altogether a write-off.  As noted above, the funny bits are often quite funny; there's only one real joke, which involves Misou reacting to a setback by cartoonishly turning to stone or floating away or somesuch, and it's so overused that the show even calls itself out on the fact, yet it's reliably amusing.  What genuinely hits the mark, though, is what also worked for the OVAs: If I see You in My Dreams is so extremely specific.  No grand and universal love story this, but a tale of normal, even nondescript people, mostly salarymen and women, and of a romantic pairing that truly could go either way and quite possibly oughtn't to succeed.  That seems like an odd thing to praise, I realise, but there's something to be said for seeing the stuff of anime romcom play out with a cast and setting of a sort we don't often encounter.  All the same, I suspect what relative appeal this does manage to scrape together would be lost on someone who wasn't already positively disposed courtesy of the OVA and curious for a different take on the material, so unless that's you, it's probably best to stay clear.

-oOo-

Galaxy Fraulein Yuna was a bit of a treasure and feels like the first unequivocal recommendation I've made in a while; okay, maybe not unequivocal, since it's obviously not going to appeal to everyone, but if it sounds at all like your thing, it's worth seeking out.  And while I can't say the same about If I see You in My Dreams, I'd argue that the somewhat hard-to-find release with both the OVA and TV series is a nice little curio that works better than watching either of them in isolation.  As for The Fourteen Target, if and when Discotek get round to reissuing these earliest titles, I guess it's not one to skip, though that's hardly much of a compliment, is it?  And the very best that can be said about Once Upon a Time is that it's going to be interesting how Windaria fares by comparison!


[Other reviews in this series: By Date / By Title / By Rating]

Monday, 31 January 2022

2021: I Tried to Get Out and They Held the Door

It's not as though, when I admitted around this time last year that I had no choice left except to give up on my lifelong dream of being a professional writer, I expected anyone to step in and magically fix things.  Still, there's not being disappointed and there's being fine with a situation, and I can't say I'm altogether fine with the fact that a handful of people who might, with negligible cost to themselves, have made an enormous difference, chose instead to let a year go by without lifting a finger.  The most obvious of those, of course, being my former publisher, whose inaction and disinterest have kept the fully completed fourth Black River Chronicles novel from getting out into the world, not to mention burying my also-ready-to-be-published novella Graveyard of Titans and leaving my Tales of Damasco trilogy in limbo.  Which is to say that, yes, The Black River Chronicles: Graduate or Die is no closer to ever seeing the light of day.  Not that I've altogether given up, but - especially given that my request for support from the SFWA went ignored for over ten months, and yes, I'm including them in the abovementioned 'small handful' - it's hard to see any reason to be hopeful.

Mind you, there's an argument that my biggest enemy on the writing front in 2021 was myself, since I was the one who thought it was a good idea to try and finish the book I'd begun, The Beasts of Siege City, though the project had already become an act of masochism and clearly wasn't going to get any easier.  Somehow I did indeed make it to the end, and insanely, what I was left with was some 350'000 words of novel, which is, I think, more than all three Tales of Damasco books together.  That one is even less likely to be read by anyone, since it's broken as hell, to the point where I don't know how I'd even begin to go about editing it into shape.  And if I was still writing, I think I'd be quite frustrated by that, since I know there's good stuff in there and that it might have been really good stuff if I'd come at the material when I was in a better state.

Then there's the really weird thing, which is that, for all that it was most definitely the death knell of my decade-long career as a novelist, 2021 somehow turned out to be a bloody good year for short fiction sales - arguably the best I've ever had, depending on how you juggle the numbers.  Is there some moral here?  I'd like to think it's that the short fiction side of things might be worth persevering with, except that short fiction is a bitterly awful way to make money and the prospect of going back to writing as effectively a second job isn't something I can contemplate right at the minute.  (Not that I exactly have a first job right at the minute; boy was 2021 awful in just about every conceivable way!)  Still, if all that can be said is that this short spurt of sales was a last huzzah then, whatever, I'll take that, especially since it meant getting to return to some of my favourite markets and to work once more with some of my favourite editors.

Even nicer, two of those stories would probably have been sunk if they hadn't made it into the venues I'd effectively written them for.  Where else but Mysterion would have considered the lengthy magic-realist meditation on religion and isolation that was An Exchange of Values Conducted in Good Faith?  Where else would my experimental fantasy action story Fall to Rise have fit but in Beneath Ceaseless Skies?  And while it's possible to imagine the strange little horror fable A Cold Yesterday in Late July elsewhere, there was no more perfect home for it than The Dark.  Add getting a story I'd come to suspect was unsaleable, my warped spy pastiche M.A.T.E.R Knows Best, into Distant Shore Publishing and a late-in-the-day acceptance from On Spec for my Compassion Fatigue - a personal-favourite piece that I spent years trying to shift finding a place in a 'zine I've been trying to break into for roughly as long - and then top it all off with a couple of anthology reprints and, on that single narrow front, 2021 was a total win.

And of course there's one other bit of good news, in that my delayed Rebellion novella The Outfit is out at the beginning of March, which I realise only now is all of about a month away.  So that's exciting, and something I imagine I'll be talking about quite a bit in the coming weeks, so I won't say much here besides - Joseph Stalin!  Pulling one of the biggest bank robberies in history!  To fund the Russian Revolution!  And it all really actually happened!!! 

Friday, 21 January 2022

Drowning in Nineties Anime, Pt. 113

I'm always happiest with these posts when they're a weird hodgepodge, so here's a one that makes me very happy indeed: where else but in vintage anime reviews would you find magical girls rubbing shoulders with child detectives and S&M-loving princesses in the company of monster hunters?  Though now that I think about it, I feel like there's probably a single anime show out there somewhere that includes all of the above!  Heck, with a little tweaking, I've just described Claymore.

So to be clear, none of what I'm reviewing here is Claymore, which is a great show that you should definitely watch but came out a full eight years too late for our purposes.  No, what we have this time is Wedding Peach DX, Case Closed: The Time Bombed Skyscraper, Fencer of Minerva: The Tempest, and Blue Seed: Beyond...

Wedding Peach DX, 1996 - 1997, dir: Kunihiko Yuyama

I'm tempted to propose that, if you like magical girl shows, and if you like magical girl shows that make no pretence whatsoever of doing anything besides following the conventions of magical girl shows to the letter, then you'll almost certainly like Wedding Peach DX (for which, read "deluxe") and quite probably the 51 episode series to which this four-episode OVA was a sequel, too.  And I think that's pretty fair, because Wedding Peach DX absolutely follows all the conventions, which, when it comes to this particular genre, are very conventional indeed: the group of neatly colour-coded female friends, the canned transformation sequences, the cartoonish creature sidekick, and the particular blend of light action, goofy comedy, romance, and kitsch, it's all here and all done more or less as it would be done in, to take the obvious example, Sailor Moon.

As someone who's only slightly embarrassed to admit that they do like magical girl shows, in spite of and perhaps a little bit because of their extreme formulaicness, I did indeed enjoy Wedding Peach DX, but I'd also suggest that it isn't quite such a cut-and-paste job as I may have begun to make it sound.  Don't get me wrong, if you've seen any Sailor Moon or anything at all similar to Sailor Moon, this will hold not one single surprise for you.  But what makes it fun, aside from the fact that obviously this stuff is innately fun when it's done well or else the entire genre would never have become so enormous and enduring, is that Wedding Peach DX knows precisely what it is and knows that we know and is quite ready to use that shared knowledge to push what's already fairly silly into the realms of being really, really silly.

This doesn't happen all the time, and it's not really a thing at all for the first and weakest episode, which mostly concerns itself with undoing the ending of the TV series to the point where we can have us a magical girl show at all.  Though even then, there's enough of a weird edge that Wedding Peach DX is recognisably its own entity: there's its transformation sequences for one thing, which sees each of the girls fitted out in a wedding dress that burns away to leave their actual outfit, or how head love angel - oh, I ought to have mentioned, they're love angels and not magical girls at all! - Momoko's ultimate attack involves firing off a grenade launcher, albeit one with a heart-shaped sight.  So sure, it's already somewhat strange, but for all of episode one and the bulk of episode two, it's strange within clear parameters that feel more as though it's nudging at the conventions than actively messing with them.  However, by episode three, there's an undeniable knowing wink to the proceedings, and by the last episode, in which our heroes get turned into cats and replaced by feline doppelgangers of themselves, there's more knowing winking going on than there is anything close to conventional storytelling.  The most obvious example, and perhaps my favourite moment across the entire nearly two-hour running time, is when Momoko looses her patience against a particularly annoying villain and yells "High-speed transformation of rage!" - at which point we're treated to precisely that.

So all things considered, Wedding Peach DX does a good job of being just what you'd expect it to be while adding enough of a twist that it has a measure of character; it's easy to see why the show ran for so long despite being so superficially unoriginal.  With that said, that it takes a couple of episodes for the proceedings to get going isn't great when a couple of episodes is half your show.  There's never a moment when it's less than watchable - the animation is hovering around TV territory, but not obnoxiously so, and the music, of which there's a lot, is just the sort of joyously cheesy J-pop you'd hope for - but there's also only really an episode and a half where it's up to something remotely special.  A pleasant enough way to pass a couple of hours, then, but Wedding Peach DX is a far cry from being indispensable, though at the least you could do worse than tracking down the final episode on Youtube. 


While we've touched on most of anime's megafranchises here, there's one that's eluded us so far and that's eluded me as a viewer entirely: until now, I hadn't seen so much as a scene of Case Closed - or Detective Conan, to give it its Japanese title - for all that there's a quite bewildering amount of it out there, be that the more than a thousand episodes of the TV show or one of the movies that have been coming out on a pretty much yearly basis since this first entry aired back in 1997.  Mostly that avoidance was a matter of accessibility: of the three films released during the nineties, not one is readily available, with the original Funimation disks both long out of print and surprisingly hard to find, though Discotek have been doing a steady job of bringing out the newer entries and presumably plan to work their way back to the start sooner or later.

Still, if I sat about waiting for reissues, we'd never get anywhere, and so at last I've had my first taste of one of the most popular series in anime history.  And lo and behold, it was ... er, fine, for the most part.  But before we get into why I can't be more effusive in my praise, a quick intro to the concept, since I personally went in with a bunch of wrong assumptions, the most prominent of which being that our protagonist, Conan Edogawa, was a little kid who solved crimes.  Which, okay, isn't a hundred percent wrong, or even slightly wrong, but the wrinkles are more than usually important: Conan, you see, is actually a teenaged detective trapped in the body of a child, for reasons this first film takes some pains to lay out, and is necessarily keeping this truth hidden from the world and most of those closest to him, including his friend Ran, whose roof he's now living under.  Due to those circumstances, Conan is obliged both to give most of the credit to Rachel's dad Kogoro, also a detective but a thoroughly useless one when left to his own devices, and to rely on the gadgetry of his sole confidante, Dr. Agasa, to mask his involvement.

This is all much weirder than what I expected going in, and it takes a bit of getting used to, if only because it seems like an inordinate amount of busywork to get us to the point where we can watch a child detective solving crimes, which you'd assume would be the draw.  I guess I'd better not generalise too hard on the back of ninety minutes of watching, but the impression I got is that Case Closed, like many a giant anime franchise, isn't desperately interested in the genre it sets itself up as: that's more a starting point to wrap a comedic action adventure around.  At any rate, that's certainly the case in this entry, given that The Time Bombed Skyscraper offers up a mystery so obvious that it's impossible to imagine the viewer who couldn't get far, far ahead of it: I'd figured out the identity of the antagonist before it was revealed there was an antagonist, and I don't claim to be particularly clever in doing so.

You'd think this would be a problem, and for me it definitely was, in that I like a good mystery and that makes it tough to enjoy a stupefyingly obvious one.  But if we accept that Detective Conan, at least in this first instalment, was more looking for a frame on which to hang its action and comedy, then what we get just about does the business, with a couple of moderately thrilling set pieces and lots of mildly amusing shenanigans to fill the running time.  Plus, it's not as though there's no cleverness to be found: the opening scene is a nice little murder mystery in itself, and there are other moments along the way where it's clear that writer Kazunari Kouchi could be getting a lot cleverer if the material allowed.  Nevertheless, it would be absurd to claim that having an incredibly predictable mystery at its heart does the material any favours, if only because, if The Time Bombed Skyscraper was to coast by as an action comedy, it would need to be a damn sight better at both action and comedy, and really just better generally.  Director Kodama, who'd be the custodian of these films through to the early two thousands, brings nothing to the table besides an ability to keep the plot moving in a sprightly fashion: at no point is there an interesting creative choice made and never does he attempt anything that would elevate the proceedings beyond the level of well-made TV.  Based on this and his efforts on the City Hunter films, I've no qualms about calling Kodama a hack, but he was definitely capable of better hackwork.

What saves the The Time Bombed Skyscraper, then, in so much as anything does, is the mechanical efficiency of a well-worn franchise that's made of many solid moving parts, even if none of them are getting a very spectacular showing here.  The basic concept is good fun and, for all that Kouchi's script treats the audience like morons, there's something quite neat and engaging in the way it nests lots of mini-mysteries into the proceedings, not all of which are so achingly obvious as the overarching plot.  So a perfectly adequate starting point, I guess, one more likely to please the existing viewer than the neophyte for sure but unlikely to actively put anyone off.  All the same, I hope there's better to come, because right at this minute I'm struggling to see what here warranted a thousand episodes and the better part of twenty-five sequels!

Fencer of Minerva: The Tempest, 1994, dir: Takahiro Okao

First up, if you haven't seen the first volume of Fencer of Minerva, which U.S. Manga Corps dubbed The Emergence, there's no reason you'd want to bother yourself with this closing pair of episodes - unless, I suppose, you had an overwhelming desire to watch a simply animated sex scene or two and every other suitable title had vanished from creation.  But let us assume that, unlikely though it is, you've watched the first volume and were so enamoured by its soft-porn paean to the joys of female sex slavery, mixed with some fairly involved political shenanigans and world-building and presented via some largely subpar animation, that you're itching to discover whether part two could possibly be as good.  Should you, dear imaginary reader who almost certainly doesn't exist, take the dive?

Yes, you should, and having established that we have on our hands a title with no appeal to the vast majority of viewers and guaranteed appeal for an infinitesimally small minority, I guess I could wrap this up right here.  But where's the fun in that, eh?  And it would be bad form not to at least try and sum up why this second volume is a success by the dubious standards Fencer of Minerva has set itself.  Though even that's a pretty easy one to answer: basically, it remembers the politicking and interesting world construction that the third episode briefly ditched and gets back to what made the first couple so mildly entertaining.  Moreover, part two sidelines what were for me the least salutary aspects: it's with great relief that I get to report that at no point does anyone get whipped and then have it explained to them how much they enjoyed the experience, and if you can somehow ignore basically all the subject matter, the only really flat-out misogynistic detail is a bizarre moment in which our heroine Diana gets slapped for having the temerity to mouth off about chess.

In all seriousness, The Tempest is a fair bit less obnoxious in its attitudes toward women, which, while being an incredibly long way from saying it isn't obnoxious at all, nevertheless slightly surprised me.  You'd assume this was geared toward a very specific market, so the fact that these last two episodes contain nothing that would be likely to cater to that market is probably a bit weird.  There isn't even really that much sexual content this time around, and Diana - while still absolutely convinced that the best possible thing for herself and for women in general is enslaving themselves to a man - has developed considerably from the story's beginnings.  She's vastly more in control of events, with her supposed master Sho largely wrapped around her little finger and doing nothing by way of protagonist duties, and the events of the seemingly-pointless-at-the-time episode three have left her both actively bisexual and eager to experiment, and now that I think about it, I'm not certain that anyone gets seduced anywhere in these two episodes except by her or by one of the women she in turn has decided to train up in the art of sex slavery and ... were they aiming for some kind of bafflingly wrong-headed feminist message here?  Is such a thing possible?

I truly don't know, but Fencer of Minerva is definitely up to something, and that, along with its repeated attempts to tell a proper fantasy story set in a proper fantasy world, are enough for me to find it mildly intriguing and intermittently entertaining even when there's no denying that it does neither of those things well and has nothing - bar some inappropriately haunting music - to redeem it.  I'm glad I saw it, and I'm glad U.S. Manga Corps were around to pick up a title that no one else would have touched with a ten-foot pole, and I kind of admire the makers of Fencer of Minerva for somehow carving a coherent five-part tale out of this material: I can't for the life of me imagine why anyone thought that making a fantasy adventure about how one woman brought about significant socio-political change through a kink for sexual subjugation was a good or rational idea, but given that they did, I guess we ought to be pleased that they stuck the landing.

Blue Seed: Beyond, 1996 - 1998, dir: Jun Kamiya, Kiyoshi Murayama

What ADV released as Blue Seed: Beyond was in fact two separate OVAs by two different directors and indeed two different studios, separated by the matter of a couple of years, and given that they're also up to completely different things, it seems unreasonable to try and review them as single entity.  So let's not do that.

Firstly, then, we have the opening two-parter, which is more or less what you'd expect of a two-episode follow up to a long-running series, in that it serves as a sort of mini sequel that whisks us through a brand new conflict while letting us hang around with the familiar characters a little longer and see where they ended up in the time since the show ended.  To some extent, this was wasted on me, as someone coming to Blue Seed afresh, but it was easy enough to gather the general concept and who everyone was.  Though with that said, the Wikipedia entry makes the TV series sound quite complex and involved and not at all like the monster-of-the-week fare on offer here.  Still, it's a perfectly diverting bit of B-movie fluff, and all the more so in the second episode, when our heroes head over to San Francisco to show the Americans how the experts go about fighting monsters - which is made especially hilarious because there's lots of talk about keeping the situation under wraps, and then they come up with a plan that could probably be photographed from space.  It's very much that sort of anime, and there's nothing remotely special going on here, but there's nothing really wrong, either.  And with the mighty Production I.G on animation duties, it never looks less than good, though by their unusually high standards, this feels a little phoned in, and it would certainly help if all the character and creature designs didn't seem like they'd wandered in from different shows.

Then the third episode is Speed in a hot spring resort, and is precisely as awesome as that sounds, assuming that your response to the pitch of "Speed in a hot spring resort" was "That sounds extremely awesome" and not "Uh, what now?"  This immediately makes it the best Speed pastiche ever - yes, even better than the Father Ted one - and, well, one of the top five hot springs resort episodes in anime at any rate, because while I generally hate them, they do throw up the odd gem when they manage not to be just an excuse to get the female cast in their birthday suits.*  And look, Blue Seed: Beyond absolutely does do that, don't get me wrong, but then it reveals that there's a bomb in the hot spring that will go off if the water level changes even slightly, and then it throws in monkeys, and honestly, nothing I tell you is going to do justice to one of the most wildly amusing half hours of anime I've experienced.  It even manages to look terrific, and I have next to no experience with studio Xebec, but that they shared an OVA with Production I.G and managed to come out effortlessly on top makes theirs a name I'll be keeping an eye out for in future.

Based on its first two episodes, Blue Seed: Beyond would be a tough recommendation to anyone who hadn't watched the series; it's fine and all, in an uninspired and pleasingly goofy way, but it's hard to imagine the viewer so starved of anime about pretty people fighting monsters that they'd want to seek it out.  Then the third episode is unabashedly brilliant, though I'd imagine it's a fairly rubbish episode of Blue Seed, given that there aren't any monsters and you could easily switch out the cast with any random bunch of beautiful women (and one hot guy) and achieve largely the same results.  Frankly, I don't know where any of this leaves us, but I had a good time with Blue Seed: Beyond - which is to say, an okay time and then a great time, averaged out - so I suppose I can't not give it a thumbs up.

-oOo-

It's weird to look back at this one and realise there's not a single standout, when there also isn't anything that I didn't enjoy.  If there's any unifying factor, I suppose it's inconsistency: if all four of the titles here were as good as their best parts, they would be easy to recommend.  For Wedding Peach DX and Blue Seed: Beyond, that means a mix of splendid and not-so-hot episodes, and for The Time Bombed Skyscraper it's a formula that harms as much as it helps, and for the second Fencer of Minerva volume it's ... okay, no, nothing in Fencer of Minerva really works and I'm largely giving it credit for not being as awful as it might have been, but hey, I sort of had fun with it!



[Other reviews in this series: By Date / By Title / By Rating]


* The Ranma 1/2 OVAs and the second Patlabor OVA both spring to mind - er, excuse the inadvertent crap pun - as shows that managed to do great things with the formula.

Thursday, 20 January 2022

Film Ramble: Top 10 Fantasy and Science Fiction Films of 2021

 I skipped my genre-film best of last year for fairly obvious reasons, and I would have skipped this year, too, for the less obvious reason that, having mostly quit writing, I'm free to just fill up this blog with vintage anime reviews if I so choose.  But a friend asked if I'd be doing one, and I've just about seen enough good movies to fill out of a top ten, and I've not much better to do, so why not?

First up, then, I'll concede that Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings possibly ought to be on here somewhere, but I just hate its last act so goddamn much - it's the most aggravating example yet of the trend whereby Marvel only have one idea for how to handle a big action climax - and I'm also more annoyed that I probably ought to be that they've taken a street-level martial arts hero and turned him into yet another clone of Iron Man.  Lupin III: The First was a close call and Venom: Let There Be Carnage could also easily have taken the bottom spot, which is more than could be said of The Matrix Resurrected: while I have a measure of respect for Lana Wachowski for making a feature-length essay on how badly she didn't want to make another Matrix movie, and there was a marvellous little Reeves / Moss romcom tucked away amid its bloated running time, would a single half-decent action sequence have been too much to ask?  Ghostbusters: Afterlife I ignored because it looked terrible and I refuse to get nostalgic over something I was never obsessed with even as a kid.  And was there a Pixar movie this year?  If there was, it must have looked so boring that I immediately forgot its existence.

I ought to note, too, that everything bar the last three entries is ordered according to little more than the whims of a moment, since quality-wise the films are all good but not great in a largely indistinguishable fashion.  So if you want to get annoyed that I rated, say, Eternals over Encanto, then obviously feel free to do so, but perhaps don't tell me, since I'll probably have changed my mind anyway.  Let's go!

10) Sword Art Online Progressive: Aria of a Starless Night

I've always quite liked Sword Art Online without exactly knowing why or feeling especially good about devoting my time to it, but if there's been one glaring problem right from the off that the show's seemed incapable of or unwilling to fix, it was the way it treated its female characters in general and female lead Asuna in particular.  And it's desperately embarrassing that it took them this long to set that right in any meaningful way, but hey, here we are, and the result is some of the best work the highly inconsistent franchise has managed to produce.  A retelling of the first series from Asuna's perspective, it benefits greatly from the fact that she's not immediately a badass the way the series' male protagonist Kirito was, and indeed not even a gamer - a detail that makes the desperately played-out isekai genre feel a little fresher - and gains, too, from an emphasis on friendship and its pitfalls that makes for a rewarding first half.  Once Kirito shows up and the film's events veer closer to those of the show, the film loses steam somewhat, but still, for anyone curious as to why Sword Art Online is so huge and eager to experiences its virtues with less of the nagging flaws, Aria of a Starless Night is the new best starting point.

9) Monster Hunter

Bless Paul W. S. Anderson, the man's a national treasure who'll never get a fraction of the credit he deserves.  For over two and a half decades now he's been churning out B-movies, and some of them are marvellous and some of them are mildly terrible, but they're all kind of joyous in their own ways and there's not a one that feels as if it was made with less than total commitment.  Plus most of them star Milla Jovovich, and anyone who manages both to wed Milla Jovovich and find a place for her in damn near every project they go near warrants an extra measure of credit - bringing us neatly to Monster Hunter, which quality-wise is definitely nearer to the top than the bottom of Anderson's CV and indeed has a good solid stretch toward its middle that may be the best filmmaking he's produced since way back in Event Horizon.  That Monster Hunter tails off a bit in its back third is definitely a shame, but it's never less than thoroughly entertaining.  In a better world, this is the sort of of disposable-but-well-crafted fluff that would come out every month, but our world sucks and Hollywood has long since lost the art of making consistently good B-movies, so we should be extra glad of them on the rare occasions they do appear.

8) Earwig and the Witch

Is Gorō Miyazaki the equal of his father Hayao Miyazaki, our greatest living animation director by a country mile?  No, he isn't, and the answer's right there in the question.  Was a movie made for TV ever going to be the equal of cinematic masterpieces like Spirited Away and My Neighbor Totoro?  Clearly not, in the same way that no one holds Ghibli's other made-for-TV project, Ocean Waves, to that standard.  Will CG ever truly capture the handmade loveliness of top-tier hand-drawn animation?  Actually, that one I'm increasingly on the fence about, and while Earwig and the Witch doesn't get us there, it's a better stab at recreating Ghibli's distinctive aesthetic while at the same time edging it toward new places than most reviewers gave credit for.  At any rate, while an undeniably lowkey effort coming from the greatest animation studio to ever exist, Earwig and the Witch is a delight watched purely as itself, with its thoroughly prickly protagonist and a plot - in which, as many a bitter critic pointed out, nothing much happens - that plays out more like a procedural than the twee fantasy fare it clearly doesn't intend to be.  It's also very, very English, in ways that it's frankly astonishing anyone who hadn't grown up in the country could pick up on: note, for example, how many pubs the tiny village setting has!  And while Englishness is hardly a virtue in and of itself, it's indicative, I think, of how much love and care Gorō put into this, his third directorial effort.

7) Encanto

This would be awfully near the top of the list if the last five minutes weren't such a monumental act of creative cowardice and generally pissing the entire message of the movie up the wall just because Disney can't possibly leave something without the possibility of sequels and spinoffs: it's that rare ending so misconceived that it manages not only to suck in its own right but to hurt everything that was great before it.  So that's a shame and all, but if you stopped watching at just the right time, you'd be left with one of Disney's strongest efforts in a good few years, and perhaps their most radical attempt at shaking up their formula by looting from cultural sources outside of the European folktale - in this case meaning a bafflingly earnest effort to transform the raw stuff of the Latin American magic-realist tradition into a funny kiddy musical.  Its also their most explicit shot yet at aping Studio Ghibli's emphasis on essentially villain-less narratives in which what propels the story is more a working out of internal conflicts than a response to external aggressions.  And that it lands on both those counts while also being a pretty good traditional Disney movie is honestly kind of a wonder - which is why it's so maddening when the post-climax comes along and nukes all the film's good intentions from orbit.

6) Eternals

After the manipulative poverty tourism of Nomadland and the hopelessly lacklustre trailers, and given the very likely probability that nobody anywhere cares one iota about these characters, my hopes for Eternals weren't what you might call high.  And sure enough, it proved to be something of a trainwreck.  But it was an interesting trainwreck, and I was very ready for an interesting Marvel movie by that point.  And if many of the ways in which it's interesting aren't good and some of them are quite actively bad - The leaden anti-humour!  The constant self-congratulation at being slightly less awful at representation than most big budget movies! - a few are actually kind of exciting.  Really, I'd have forgiven it a lot for its earnest attempt to have actual, meaningful themes and to grapple with big ideas and to try not to be too pat in its answers.  This is exemplified by a climax that does practically none of what we expect from the climax of a Marvel movie, or any sort of big-budget movie, and instead expects us to watch our "heroes" fight each other over what amounts to differing interpretations of their faith.  And look, I'm not saying Marvel ought to be replacing their done-to-death "fight on the ground / in the air / in the sky" third acts with religious wars every time, but as a one-off?  It's certainly different.  I couldn't swear that being different is equal to being good - I couldn't swear that anything in all of this works! - but better a brave failure than a safe success.

5) Raya and the Last Dragon

I'd argue that the good stuff in Encanto is better than the good stuff in Raya and the Last Dragon, but at no point does Raya and the Last Dragon defecate all over its bed and then fling the filthy sheets in your face, so it gets to be a little higher up the list.  On the other hand, Raya and the Last Dragon does have a couple of great virtues of its own, one being that it's absolutely bonkers - somewhere along the line, somebody thought that remaking Mad Max, but with a teenage girl riding a giant pill bug, was a good idea, and that someone was actually listened to instead of being quietly ushered in the direction of the nearest sanatorium! - and the other being that, more so than any other film since Disney burned the last tattered shreds of its soul and abandoned traditional animation, it looks staggeringly lovely.  Get past the unapologetic mangling of various Southeast Asian cultures into one misshapen whole, which is possibly more offensive than the way Encanto does the same with Latin America but yields far more entertaining world-building results, and there's a pleasurable, if distinctly rote, fantasy coming-of-age tale here that's well toward the upper end of the middling ground that both Disney and Disney-Pixar seems convinced is what doing their jobs means these days.

4) Spider-Man: No Way Home

Right from the off, for anyone who's lost patience with the Marvel juggernaut and is sick to the back teeth of this current suffocating wave of nostalgia in lieu of entertainment, No Way Home sounded like the worst damn thing.  Even if we ignore the fact that you really ought to be able to walk into a cinema and watch a movie without having seen seven other movies put out by two different companies over a two decade period, who could think that doing the precise same thing as Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse only inevitably worse while also reminding people of those Sam Raimi Spider-man movies, two thirds of which were better than anything in your own series, was a bright idea?  And so, with all that, it's possible I'm giving Spider-Man: No Way Home credit for not being a ghastly wreck.  But I hope not.  It finds journeyman director Jon Watts getting up to considerably more interesting stuff than in his previous efforts (bar that one terrific sequence from Far From Home) and features some of the best effects work the MCU has yet to produce (if we ignore The Lizard, anyway; whatever Watts paid his eight-year-old nephew to fling that crap together in an afternoon when he realised they'd somehow missed out an entire character, it was too much.)  Yet, if I'm being honest, what really worked for me was the nostalgia, in part because I actually liked most of the preceding Spider-man movies but also because, shockingly, it opted to be so sad.  Seeing Tobey Maguire, whose career's been in the toilet for years, back in the spider-suit was sad; likewise Andrew Garfield, whose films may not have been the best but who did good work in the role.  Among the things I found weirdly moving, the amount of closure it delivered for those long-lost incarnations of the character was the most startling; but really, for all its quipiness, No Way Home was a strikingly melancholy and earnest movie, one that truly seemed set on doing right by its title character.

3) Dune

I actually have a bunch of problems with Villeneuve's take on Dune, and two of them are far from trivial.  It's absolutely half of a movie, and as the running time dragged on, I found that harder and harder to ignore, because there's just no arc here: it's a story that runs and runs and runs and stops, and that stopping point could easily have been anywhere in the last third without leaving the result any more or less shapeless.  And while there was a lot in the design work that I found thrilling, it bugged me deeply that, having found an aesthetic he liked the look of, Villeneuve seemed determined to plaster it over everything.  Say what you like about the Lynch version (or don't, since I like it and you probably don't) but it did a hell of a job of creating a universe that felt full of wildly different and competing cultures and ideologies, whereas Villeneuve's Dune does a hell of a job of creating a universe where everything's drab and brutalist.  Neither of those are small issues, so that the film gets this high on the list is a testament to how good every other element is, and more than anything to how it does the one thing genre fiction needs to do and rarely nails, which is to transport us somewhere totally other and make it feel real and true.  I didn't always love Dune, but I believed it, and arguably that's nearly as valuable.

2) The Suicide Squad

I don't much like James Gunn as a writer and I'm lukewarm to him as a director; there's nothing on his CV prior to The Suicide Squad that I'd rate as highly as other people generally do, not even the first Guardians of the Galaxy.  But with the astonishingly free rein DC appear to have given him, Gunn got to lean hard into the black humour and wanton sadism that were an uncomfortable fit for his PG13 projects, and with Margot Robbie now the undeniable MVP of the DC comics universe and Daniela Melchior stealing the film from under almost everyone else, he finally managed to make a film that does right by its female characters, and with a project that plays to his strengths and irons out his weaknesses, the results are a thing of wonder.  Incredibly dark and mean-spirited wonder, to be sure, but then, that's a big part of the fun and also wholly appropriate: The Suicide Squad ponder the notion of a US supervillain strike team mucking about in world affairs for all of about three seconds, recognises it for the grotesquery it is, and proceeds accordingly, crafting a delirious two hours of entertainment that skewers its concept with fanatical dedication.  Though written like that, it sounds like a grind, and thanks to a splendid cast doing splendid work and some truly excellent gags and just the right amount of decency and kindness at the centre of its shrivelled tumour of a heart, it somehow never is.

1) Zack Snyder's Justice League

I can't possibly justify this decision, except by saying that the existence of Zack Snyder's Justice League feels to me like a miracle and, let's face it, we don't see a lot of those these days.  And yes, I get that you might choose instead to view it as a win for the tenacity of toxic fandoms, but consider the alternative: that Snyder, an inconsistent craftsman who nevertheless clearly believes deeply and wholeheartedly in what he's up to, set out to create something of epic grandeur as one part of something even more preposterously epically grand, and a bunch of studio execs who'd lost faith in his vision because it wasn't as shiny and quippy as what those other studio execs were doing used a horrifying family tragedy as the leverage to push him off the project so that he could be replaced by a philandering, abusive hack who everyone pretty much knew by that point ought not to be working in an industry where he might get any chance to abuse his power - and then, somehow, years later, the stars aligned in such a way that Snyder got not only to fix his film but to then break it in a whole bunch of other ways that are giddily fascinating if you're a certain kind of film nerd.  A more than four hour running time!  A 4:3 aspect ratio!  A goddamn black and white version!  Clearly this sort of auterishness is madness and not a remotely sustainable model for making films, but just once in a blue moon, to experience something so vast and singular and magnificently demented - well, it was a rare treat, and for me, one of 2021's much-needed highlights.